What your drink order says about YOU

Being thirsty isn’t a bad thing.

(granted you’re in a bar and not thirsty for gossip like the bitches on The Real Housewives of Atlanta!)

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But the thirst is real

So grab a straw and a seat and let’s walk through what your drink order says about you…that’s right we’re going in on the psychology and stereotypes that develop based on what you ask your bartender for.

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DISCLAIMERthe following drinks pertain to a bar scenario. Who you are in regards to what drink you order at dinner or what you drink in the privacy of your own home is a whole other therapy session. I’m just here to hook up you with what your drink order on a Friday night says about you. 

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“I’ll have a Vodka soda please!”

Ordering a vodka soda says you’re not about making a fuss behind the bar. You’re a simple drinker. You’re down for Tito’s with your soda, but if it’s a special occasion, you’ll up the ante to Grey Goose. You also may be watching your calories and this is the skinniest way to get a bit of a buzz going. However, when you start adding ‘splashes’ of extra juices…you’re becoming more high maintenance. You need a splash of cranberry or pineapple. You only want the splash of these juices got mad sugar, but you also know it’s a waste of $14 for a vodka soda that’s so strong you can’t even drink it. So, go ahead, splash away. Personally, I opt for a splash of cranberry, but to each his or her own.

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“Yeah, uh, I’ll take a scotch.”

So this one’s little less common in a college bar setting, but hey, anything is possible. That frat boy who typically downs like 14 Budlight beers and only wears Vineyard Vines may surprise you by ordering a scotch in a snazzy button down on a Saturday night.

If you are ordering a scotch, it means someone taught you that the beauty of drinking is sipping, not chugging. This method of drinking doesn’t really work in college, but if you start sipping now, you may actually enjoy the taste of scotch in 5-10 years.

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“We’ll take 5 shots, hell yeah!!!”

Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots! Shots are a group activity. If you are approaching the bar, solo, and just throwing back shots…I’m worried for you. Unless you’ve had like a really bad day, it’s probably not the move. When you do go with a group to the bar, you best believe it’s never just one shot. It may start with a round, but you throw it back so fast and feel nothing, usually. So, before heading back to the dance floor, you and your pals go for another round. Because, why the hell not?

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“I’ll have a glass of Pinot Grigio. Something light and fruity, please!”

You told yourself you weren’t going to drink tonight. You decided since you can handle a glass of wine after doing homework on a school night that you could obviously drink wine at the bar and feel fine. But, one glass of wine turned into a bottle to yourself and maybe even a second before closing time. While the wine probably didn’t make you white girl wasted, you’re probably feeling wavy. AKA, you’re the most tired of all your friends and you’d rather have romantic sex tonight than grind with a stranger and have a dance floor makeout. Wine makes you sensual, or maybe that’s just me, I don’t know.

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“I’ll take a Budlight, thanks.”

If you started your night with beer, you’re just chill. You’re an easy going person and know how to have fun without being blackout. Maybe you’re a frat boy at a big 10 school or a student at a university in the south and when you think of going out, all you see is beer. Maybe you’re my dream country boy or a semi-country girl, like myself, who every once in a while enjoys a refreshingly cool beer (Budlight with a lime, obviously)!

If it’s like 2 a.m. and you’re just switching to beer, you’re probably belligerently drunk and want to keep drinking, but also want to stop yourself from getting any drunker. I wouldn’t say this is a good plan, but I’ve seen it done many times. When I order a beer at a bar in front of a guy, in my head I’m thinking, “Yeah, that’s right. I’m that cool.” Haha!

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(note: if you’re not a country fan…this is Thomas Rhett with his high school sweetheart turned wife on a vacation, looking like the coolest, cutest couple having a blast while enjoying a beer. Same.)

“A Cosmopolitan.”

If you’re underage and ordering a cosmo, a Manhattan or any martini, your favorite show is clearly Sex and the City and ordering one of these drinks is your Carrie Bradshaw moment. Enjoy it. If you’re legal and ordering it, clearly you enjoyed the taste and have accepted that your drink order makes you a cosmopolitan, chic and maybe even bouji drinker. No problem with that though! #doyou

Especially if me drinking a martini, looks like this:

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Soooooo, the only question left is….

 

What will you order?

 

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I’ll let you decide. 

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2 comments

  1. Sara · April 4, 2016

    Epic & accurate. I’m a vodka soda kinda gal, and you’re right, I like it simple and I don’t like to cause a scene — I just want to grab and go. When I was in Punta Cana this past spring break, I got a little more high maintenance. I added the splash of pineapple! Because when in Punta, right?

    Like

  2. Eleni · April 6, 2016

    I was laughing the entire time reading this! I find it so funny how each drink order has a stereotype attached to it (and how accurate these stereotypes are). I always order a vodka soda with cranberry (I like a bit more than just a splash) so i guess I’m always a little more high maintenance. Also love all your gifs, they match each section perfectly!

    Like

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