Spring Breakers

Oh  honey, you already know….

it’s time to discuss spring break.


^ because even though spring break lasts about a week and you’re drunk 93% of the time…the memories (and nights you wish you could take back) will last a lifetime.

College spring breaks will be starting in the next two weeks.


So, best believe, if your trip isn’t booked, your spring break diet isn’t on point and some new string bikinis and crop-tops haven’t been ordered, you already way behind schedule babe!


Yeah, um…so like there’s NO WAY she’s a mother f**king real human being (just sayin’!)

There’s a LOT of hype surrounding spring break; especially for college students. See, for me, my senior year spring break (in high school) was epic. By far, the craziest, most wildly fun trip you could imagine for a bunch of hormone-driven 18-year olds who could LEGALLY drink in the Bahamas. #nowords.


Whatever you’re imaging us doing, multiply it by 10 and then you’re much closer to our level!

Post-high school spring break, I thought I’d seen it all. I thought I’d reach the top of the spring break pyramid, but then I got to college and 6 days at a crappy hotel in Baha with 70 of my closest friends didn’t compare to villas in Puerto Vallarta or a week at Eden Roc.


See college spring breaks get crazy because we’re drinking more (damn straight), we’re probably more sexually active (oh god) and we’re severely overwhelmed.  Why, you may ask are we stressed?

Because NOW, making a spring break decision includes consulting with all your college friends plus everyone you knew from high school.


For example, your sorority wants to go the Bahamas? But you’re high school friends don’t want to repeat vacation spots, so they’re going to Cabo. But they’re going with a college travel company (which is code for good price, all inclusive, crappy hotel and fun 24/7) with the Wisco girls, the frat boys from Michigan and like everyone from ‘Cuse.



Oh, but wait, plot twist! The hot guys from your college are going to PV, but your biggest high school crush is going to be in Miami. Shit, man. With so many options and various equations for making this work, what’s a girl/guy to do?


Sure, in the moment, this trivial madness could make you crazy. My advice? First chill out. Take a breath people!!!

I suggest taking a serious inventory. Look around, who are your best friends, who do you want to spend 7 days with on a beach? Who will you have fun with (and I’m talking sober and drunk fun.)  When you answer those questions, you have your spring break plans. 


OH  and  spoiler alert! Last  time I checked, we all still had families. So remember, in the hype of spring break, try not to forget the little people (AKA your parents, siblings, etc!) They’re people too and honestly, sometimes mom and dad wanna  spoil you rotten. Sometimes a week  in St. Barth’s with your awesome family wins.


All I’m saying is if mom calls you like, “Honey, what you think about Turks and Caicos for spring break?” You should think long and hard before bailing on them for endless booze and boys. Because, in all honesty, isn’t college just four years of spring break? Whether you go to school at University of Miami or University of Michigan, the booze, boys and baes are readily available.


^ Said mom on your family spring break! That’s what’s up mommy! 


My point here is that whatever you do for spring break, I promise it’ll be awesome. Some fun in the sun? Now, who could complain about that.


So wherever you travel to and whoever you travel with…I got little advice for you.

Noooooo, it’s not how to hook up or the key to loosing 10 pounds before spring break (cause I do NOT know these things people!)

Instead, it’s a damn checklist for packing. You’re welcome!


  1. Sunglasses
  2. At least 3 bathing suits (don’t forget a sexy one piece, ‘cuz they are so on point right now!)
  3. Flip-flops/sandals
  4. Some cover-ups
  5. Sunscreen/tanning oil (‘cuz we trying to get our tan on!)
  6. Maxi-dress (good for day or night)
  7. Night outfits (dresses, jumpsuit, rompers)
  8. Chapstick (‘cuz the sun is rough on those lips)
  9. iPod/headphones and speakers (as DJ Khaled would said, “Music is a major key.”)
  10. Camera (because spring break must be documented: that includes the good, bad and the ugly!)
  11. Moisturizer (for, well, basically everywhere!)
  12. Flash tattoos (these babies make every beach/pool day trendier)
  13. Advil (cause the hangovers are going to be bad and the struggle is REAL)
  14. Protection (whether that’s birth control, condoms or anything else; just be prepared people!)

While there’s plenty of other things to pack, these are some major essentials for Spring Break vacations!


The countdown is on, so get excited! Whether that means hitting the gym, eating a salad, buying new clothes or going to the tanning salon, just do you and get ready for the party of the year!

Spring Break forever!


Or at least until you have night full of more debauchery than your college vacation. #preach 



  1. Arianna F · February 23, 2016

    Hahaha this is so accurate! I have to agree with you that college basically is four years of spring break, I never thought about it like that. It is so depressing that the four years is almost over, I cant even think about it! Also, for something so stupid, planning spring break really can be such an overwhelming thing – that Kristen Wiig gif sums it up pretty perfectly. Also, thank you for the packing list!!


  2. shitwedont · February 24, 2016

    This post was really entertaining! I love your writing style and the combination of text, gifs, and pictures. I’m definitely getting ready for senior year spring break as well so this article got me even more excited. Thanks for the post!


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