The Horror Story that is Valentine’s Day

Relax Tina- I actually want to (proactively) wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day. I hope the day is filled with love, chocolate, cute teddy bears and romance. (I actually really do!)

BUT since it probably won’t be…….

We Neeeeeeeeed to Talk!

Ladies and gentlemen, February 14th isn’t just a date on the calendar, but it is considered a day that you should have a date on the calendar. (uh-oh)

However, since “Be Mine” can clearly be mistaken for “Be Mean,” let’s get real and cut to the chase. So, as you have probably guessed, Valentine’s Day gives me ‘my feels.’ I have a rather hot and cold relationship with the holiday…as I do with most the men in my life. (#awesome)

Part of me wants to LOOOOOVE it because, well it’s the mother f***ing day of Love. Part of me says, who needs a lover? I can make Valentine’s Day special by myself. Sure, that is not ideal, but if you see the glass as half full, surrounding yourself by your best girlfriends, some epic romantic comedies and a potluck dinner featuring White Girl Rose, doesn’t seem so bad. Right?

But for those of you who want to HATE V-day, oh honey, best believe I got you covered too!

So let’s talk about why it S-U-C-K-S 

• Flowers? Sure, they’re nice, but they will eventually die, you may be allergic to them and if your significant other gets you the wrong flowers…you’ll bug and the nice gesture will be ridiculed.
• A Teddy bear? Are you five years old? Do you really need another teddy bear? Like will you keep it…even after V-day? Why hug teddy bear when you can just spoon your real life boyfriend or girlfriend? I’m just saying, I’m pretty sure human physical interaction beats any ‘feels’ you would get from a cute teddy. #bible
• Chocolate? Okay, I have no problem eating chocolate or any other Valentine’s Day treats. There delicious, but not so nutritious. So yeah you may eat two pieces of the dark chocolate, but you’ll leave the other 48 pieces of sweetness untouched and leave your significant other pissed that he/she spent like 60 freaking dollars on something you’re going to throw out by February 16th.
• The epic dinner date? Yes! An amazing V-day date will give you total bragging rights, but do you only deserve a fabulous date on 2/14? What about the other 364 nights of the year? The hype is so high for Valentines Day and expectations are unrealistic. Sure it would be special, but nights like that could occur all year long. In fact, it would be even sweeter if your date surprised you on a random night. No offense, but every couple has some sort of date on 2/14….but not everyone has an outstanding date on 2/26 or 3/4 or any other date. Therefore, if you really want to impress me: a) ask me out, b) do it up big & c) don’t stress, I don’t need a Valentine’s date, a regular date works for this gal! 

POW, POW!!!!!!!!

So whether you decide to embrace or hate this Valentine’s Day, I hope this post had something for you to relate to. I guess in a nutshell, what I am trying to say is, whether it’s a Valentine’s Day date or an I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY PARTY, a celebration is a celebration. This holiday can be special spent with your one love or in a room full of people you love. You decide!

Just have fun; don’t let yourself pity yourself…

even if you single as hell.

Be single and fabulous. (Be Beyonce, basically)

Enjoy your Valentine’s Day!