Because we absolutely need to talk about sex, baby!
WARNING: This post will NOT contain explicit content! I’ll keep it PG-13. This is about Sex in 2016; not the actual act, but the connotations, emotions and problems surrounding how our generation loves one another.
In a perfect world, I would start this blog post with a fitting definition of the word we all love, sex. However, in my journey to find the perfect words, I found nothing but definitions that ignore what sex has become. Sex is one thing, sex involving us Gen Y-ers is whole other thing.
As much as I would like to blame reality television, romantic comedies, celebrities, friends with benefits and “netflix and chilling,” this is sort of on us. Yes. We, as a generation, have the power to ignore the messages in the media. It would be hard, but we could do it. However, we, in accordance with our influencers, have ruined the romanticism of sex. Will we regain romance by our mid-20s, who the hell knows? My gut says no.
Furthermore, sex is complex. It has a myriad of definitions and facets and it has the power to change people. Sex starts as far away fantasy; one in which you and your boyfriend (who’ve been dating for like a year) are finally comfortable enough to take the next step…possibly because you believe you will be together forever. However, if your the last virgin standing at 20 years old, Prince Charming or Princess Charming turns into the hot guy/girl at the bar who definitely knows your first name, knows how to grind up on you and promises their good.
HINT: If you fell for that, you most likely didn’t read his or her warning label
“I’m an attractive college student. I do legitimately think you’re hot and would love to have sex with you. I promise I am a nice person, but since you are not my girlfriend or boyfriend and I am not looking for a relationship, I can only be so nice. I’ll be your Prince/Princess Charming tonight, but if you’re a Stage 5 Clinger tomorrow…I can’t make any promises. Hope I can be the one tonight!”
With that said…
Here’s a simple way to digest what sex is in 2016 (we’re all little ADD so I’ve comprised a numbered list)
- The sexual relationships we see on the CW network, emphasis on 90210 and The Vampire Diaries, aren’t real. Those love stories are far too extreme, but just because its unrealistic doesn’t mean we should jump to the opposite side of the spectrum (i.e. friends with benefits or countless one night stands with randoms)!
- Sex is more than just a physical act. Emotions are allowed before and after. Don’t ignore or deny them because you think that makes you unmanly or a hopeless romantic.
- Your sex life should be influenced by some things….alcohol is NOT one of them. A sober sex life should exist; in fact, you may like what you can do even more as a functioning young adult.
- You decide your sex life, not society. You don’t have to have sex and you certainly don’t have to have sex with him or her.
- Sex isn’t life or death, but it is serious. I’m not saying you should let your “number” affect you, but you should put great thought in who you WANT (key word) to sleep with.
- There is such a thing as no sex without monogamy. If you chose to live by those words, go you! Stick to it and inspire others to actually make love with someone they love.
- CONDOMS– not optional. Pill or no pill. Condoms have become these like optional items. Like, um should I carry a bag today or just put my keys in my pocket. Um Hell no. Boys never leave your bags at home. Come on ladies! We all know were not perfect pill takers…airgo, we should ALWAYS use a condom. Not to get too graphic, but when he says “Don’t worry, I’ll pull out.” Ehhhh, like I don’t know dude.
- This is a biggie. Pleasure goes both ways. I am sorry fellas, but it’s time the ladies got their voices back. Girl, you better be just as happy as him or her when it’s over. If that’s not the case, speak the f**k up. You deserve to feel what you want as well. If you’re not enjoying sex, I’m sorry, why are you having it? #foodforthought
- You don’t have to abide by the 3 date rule, but honey, set some sort of standards/regulations and rules for yourself. It could be 1 date or 90 days, but let it be something. We do have high standards, but we let them fly out the window far too easily when push comes to shove. So to help us remember them, let’s make sure we set ourselves and the boys straight. My advice: don’t do yourself a disservice, let him take you on a date; you’re worth it!
- A lot of time time we think sex is the answer. Unfortunately, it’s probably not. But you know what could be…..a tv binge marathon, rocky road ice cream, a good cry, a carb-filled meal, three or four bottles of red wine. No judgment here.